Now I Understand

You know the saying, "I love you so much it hurts"? I've heard it in love songs, read it in poetry, seen it in chick flicks, and thought I understood what it meant. When I fell in love with Dave, and knew there was no one else on earth I'd rather be with, I thought I understood what it meant. When I found out I was pregnant, and felt more joy and terror than I ever thought possible, I thought I understood what it meant. But honestly, I had no idea. Once I looked into their innocent eyes, and realized the unconditional love a parent has for a child, I understood. Once I had to feel the pain of being away from them, but realize how lucky I am to be able to return, I understood. Once I heard about other parents suffering the incomprehensible loss of a child, and can't imagine how they get out of bed each day, I understood. Once I was able to literally feel my heart breaking when I imagine any harm coming to them, of not being able to protect them, of finally being able to say I would give my life for someone, I understood. I love my children. That goes without saying. But lately I wonder if that pain that comes with loving them so much, that primal fear of being unable to protect them from all the ugliness in this world...will it ever go away? And honestly, do I want it to?

On a lighter note...

We had a birthday celebration for Daddy and Aunt Amy this past weekend. The ladies went to a baby shower for our friend Becca, so the babies were left in the capable hands of daddy, Uncle Tim, and Grampa Moran.

Cameron and his balloon

Evan

Sophia and Sarah

Our friend Talia with Evan and Sophia

Cameron and Sarah...he has a bit of a crush on her. Sorry buddy, she's taken!

I bought these cool mesh feeders that you can put solid food in...takes away some of the fear of choking. They love them!
Cameron

Evan

Sophia

Evan hanging out with Sandy

Wanna play?

Sophia in her "Edith Ann" chair

Cameron

Sophia

Evan

Early morning tummy time with Daddy

Sophia

Meet Dark Helmet

Well, here he is in all his glory-Cameron aka "Dark Helmet"-fans of Mel Brooks movies understand...all others Google it! He got his shiny new accessory Tuesday, and we've spent the week acclimating him to it. He's worn it progressively longer amounts of time each day until this weekend when he will wear it 23 hours a day (one hour off for bathing). He's been such a trooper and is doing surprisingly well. It really doesn't seem to bother him, although I keep waiting for him to look at me one day like-"Okay, jokes over...take this thing off me now!" He has already worn it overnight and slept beautifully. It's true what they say-babies really are resilient. Hard to believe the babies will be 9 months the end of this month! No one is crawling yet, but all are so close they can taste it! Their favorite thing to do lately is JUMP, JUMP, JUMP! At first Cameron was the only one who had figured out the doorway jumper, but the past month all three have been having a blast in it! We actually had to borrow cousin Kady's stationary jumperoo, and Grammy Denier got another doorway jumper so no one would be left out! We now have jumping parties at least once a day! The babies love to interact with each other...they giggle and "talk" to each other all the time-especially when they're in their high chairs. Sophia and Evan seem to have a special bond...but Cameron loves to be in the middle high chair so he can reach out to his brother and sister on either side. He joins in the fun when he thinks no one is looking! Cameron now has SIX...yes I said SIX teeth! Four on top, and two on the bottom. His brother and sister are still stuck on two, but I have the feeling more are on their way. We are experimenting with finger foods, but with disastrous results. Most of the time they gag, choke, then puke all over. Good times.

Okay, shows over, move along.

Ewww...boys/girls are gross!
Sophia and Cameron

Except for my brother/sister of course!

Jumping party!

This is awesome!

Cameron snoozes on Grampy Denier...never ceases to amaze me the positions they can sleep in!

Check us out!
Sophia, Cameron, Evan

We love to sit up...just like mommy and daddy!

Tummy Time!

Aw, geez...here we go again with the camera, guys. Everyone smile and pretend to be interested!

This is what happens when you try to give yourself an oatmeal hair mask!

Grammy Denier and Naunie accompanied us on our first restaurant visit! We went out for lunch at the Courthouse in Putnam. I called ahead to warn them, but when the hostess saw us rolling in three babies..she decided to give us half the dining room all to ourselves! The babies were awesome...they had so much fun and were super well behaved!

We are so big!